![]() One time, she was tidying up the pile of clean laundry that had just been delivered and found a pair of her underwear at the bottom of the basket. Every empty water cooler was changed by someone else. ![]() But at the convent she no longer touched pans or stoves all her food was prepared by the young nuns who took care of the convent. It turned out to be beneficial-it made Tula well-liked in every place she had served. The happiness of Batak women lies in having many children, her mother had said.Īs the youngest child in her family, Tula was the one her siblings made help their mother in the kitchen. They must have smuggled in packages of rice, and that stain must have been the broth of her mother’s curry, she thought. There was a brown stain on the T–shirt her youngest nephew was wearing. Tula awoke in the night, she walked around the kitchen, the living room, and went back to the kitchen, before coincidentally finding a framed photograph of her late mother and her nephew’s family. When Tula spent the night at his house, she had to sleep on a rug on the floor in the living room. He has six children who all go to a Catholic school. He lives in Bekasi, and like most Batak men who did not obtain proper education, he works as a bus driver. It was the other way around-Tula was the one who had spent a night in one of her nephews’ house. Her parents and siblings had all passed away, and not one of her nephews and nieces had visited her-even while she was still teaching at school. The young man’s question reminded Tula of her family. One day this place will grow on you, Sister, Mbak Nani had once told her. Seeing Laura was out, Tula cried her heart out in bed. After minutes of awkwardness passed, he nervously asked, “How are your children? When was the last time they came to visit?” After answering the question and talking for a little while, Tula excused herself and went back to her room. Once or twice Tula had even been tempted to talk about semi-worldly things such as their favourite Koes Plus and Chrisye songs, and Mbak Nani had always obliged.Įach week Tula waited eagerly for Wednesday to come, until one Wednesday Mbak Nani fell ill, and Tula, to avoid being accused of favouritism, consulted a young male psychologist who sweated constantly and carried a pack of tissues with him everywhere. Tula admitted to her that there was an aspect of her life that now felt strange, unfamiliar, but Mbak Nani calmly said that the feeling was normal and that it would disappear with time. Tula usually consulted Mbak Nani, one of the psychologists, with only six years of age difference between them. This service was provided for the nuns who had just begun their retirement. Tula also attended a consultation session every Wednesday. Teresa Avila once wrote that the souls of those who meditate would never be lost, and Tula believed it. ![]() At nine, after her evening meditation, she would go to bed. In the early evenings, the sacrament of the Eucharist was held for those interested or not having guests. In the convent, Tula started her day by meditating for an hour, before joining in the morning liturgy, followed by reading the Bible in the main room. They think they’re too good to talk to us, Laura had said. Back then she had been giddy with excitement to be part of them. ![]() Here gather all those who are victorious in faith, Tula had thought when she saw the convent’s sign for the first time. Tula had expected this kind of silence, a silence so perfect and holy, so different from all the kinds of silence she had encountered in all her sixty years. Most of the retired sisters who had been there for ages didn’t speak much. They think we can’t take care of ourselves, Laura had said. Everything you need is here, Sister, Mother Superior had said when she first welcomed Tula into the convent. Tula was still allowed to go out, to visit the diocese or the health clinic, but there had been a lot of robberies around the area, prompting Mother Superior to issue a ban on leaving the premises. The convent has shielded her from the outside world, and in return she had to pray for all the poor souls out there. In the convent, Tula spent most of her time reading the Bible and praying. God only needs the young nuns, Sister Laura had told Tula on their first night as roommates in the convent. ![]() I only need God in my life, Tula had told her ex-boyfriend Anton, forty-five years ago. The glimmering replica watches, the sweet-scented cheap perfumes, the stained glass cups and plates-until this day they had all failed to appeal to her. She walked past the shops and aisles, looking at all the things she neither need nor could afford. Six months after being sent to a convent for retired nuns in Pondok Aren, at the outskirts of Jakarta, Sister Tula adopted the habit of sneaking out to a shopping mall wearing a short-sleeved T-shirt and a long skirt. ![]()
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